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There’s a lot of talk about empowered Latinas leading the way in business, politics, and sports. I must confess that—despite what many might think—I’m not the perfect picture of female empowerment. I’m actually pretty bad at empowering myself, let alone demanding my fair share when it comes to negotiating amidst today’s gender pay gap.
Women currently earn about 16 percent less pay than men, according to Forbes. What’s more? Latinas are paid just 55 percent of what non-Hispanic white men are paid.
It’s sad, but true. More often than I would like to admit, I have found myself negotiating down instead of up to get a job or a freelance gig. I might exude confidence across my social media channels, but in real life, I’m a terrible negotiator. I’m the type to go: “Yeah, sure, I’ll take the job. It sounds nice. The pay is appalling, but okay. Thank you.”
Why is that? I wonder.
While I’m not entirely sure where this lack of confidence comes from—or why I’m so late to the so-called self-empowerment game—I have some theories. So, please bear with me.
WARNING: This column was designed to be handled with a serious dose of humor. So, before you keep reading and ask this writer to stop embarrassing herself, keep in mind this is a crash course on my own self-empowerment journey and reflections on the gender pay gap. It’s time to BREAK THROUGH THE GLASS CEILING ALREADY.
Strong, Independent ‘Mujeres’ Who Demand Little
I was born into a somewhat conservative, lower middle-class family in Mexico where women didn’t have a lot to say. But, at the same time, we were the ones doing most of the labor—inside and outside the household. That wasn’t made any easier by the state of the gender pay gap at the time, but women persevere.
My mother and grandmother lost their husbands relatively early in their marriages. Grandma became a widow at thirty-three with seven children to feed. And mom divorced my father a few years (and four children) after a short-lived, unhappy marriage.
For the women in my family (me included), work was never an option; it was a necessity. My mom worked two full-time government jobs and sold random materials on the side to feed the four of us (and gosh, did we like to eat). She was the one bringing in the bacon—and frying it too.
It was not until today that I realized what my mom accomplished as a single mother is what people these days would call “female empowerment.” She was able to buy an apartment, provide her children with an education, and avoid going into debt. But that was just the way of life then, as the matriarchs of the household held their families up, serving as the foundational backbone.
My mother’s bosses were always men—and not real nice, if you asked me. Yet, I never heard her complain once about the grueling hours, request more money, or demand better working conditions. She accepted her lot in life and was mostly thankful for having good health and a job to support her family.
My mother never knew about the gender pay gap or the glass ceiling—the intangible barrier that prevents women and other minorities from advancing in their careers and obtaining upper-level positions. She never knew that it was something women could break. She did worry about our bathroom ceiling, though, which would leak frequently because of terrible plumbing.
Ironically enough, I turned out to be very much like her.
From “Yes Girl” to Negotiation Ninja
While I didn’t marry young nor have any children, I started working at a very young age, mostly to help out with home expenses. The gender pay gap was not on my mind then. I just needed an income.
At age fourteen, I was doing odd jobs. There was one time where I worked as a “model,” which basically meant wearing a very short skirt to promote a toy brand at a local supermarket. Later, I worked as a receptionist at a US multinational company to pay for journalism school.
Looking back at all the jobs and gigs I had, I do not recall ever being picky or demanding about particulars. Just like my mom before me and my abuela before us, I’ve been pretty much thankful just to have a job and be able to support myself.
Last year, I was offered a position I really wanted, but it required leaving New York City and moving back to Mexico. As such, I ventured into the scary world of negotiating and advocating for myself. But I knew I couldn’t do it alone. Instead, I turned to a much younger and way more empowered Latina friend of mine. She guided me every step of the way until I got what I wanted and, apparently, deserved.
After this sudden, unexpected surge of confidence, it occurred to me that my perennial lack of confidence was rooted in both a generational and cultural gap.
Breaking Generational Chains
I noticed most of my younger, female friends and colleagues seemed to know exactly what they want. And they went for it, unapologetically. Their confidence shows in the way they speak up, are unafraid to demand things, and overall go about life not taking any crap from anyone.
Secondly, I realized my Mexican background brought me challenges I had to learn to navigate. Latinos are taught from a very early age to be humble. We are told to not show off or tout our success (God forbid they call you a presumida!). I was raised to be polite and mostly thankful when people offered me something, even if that something was a crappy job with a huge gender pay gap.
Not anymore. I am hereby demanding you, my loyal readers, to continue to read my monthly rants on this space (even if you find them unbearable at times). Only then will I truly feel really empoderada.
Stay tuned for Laura Martinez’s next Hisplaining column, tackling other key biz terms and jargon. Why? To help leaders everywhere smoothly navigate the multicultural business world. In the meantime, send us tips and ideas for other terms and jargon that you’d like to see us feature. And remember: Don’t panic . . . it’s just his-PANIC!
